Thursday, December 11, 2008

Disoriented;; Page #1.2, Draft #4

**Please do not copy or take or steal...thankyou! Also, could you please comment on it?

Days, maybe weeks later (which seemed to be years, decades even...) she glimpsed something in the distance, but she was too far away to tell what it was. Maybe it was a great city bustling with people... or maybe a vast forest filled with dangerous and deadly animals. Anything to get away from the red that constantly surrounded her.
She kept walking, waiting impatiently for the thing in the distance to come into focus. To distract herself she imagined an enormous city, busy with loud vendors yelling for anyone to buy their products. People busting around buying things they didnt even need. Poor, filthy people sitting on the edges of streets begging for money. Pickpockets quietly stealing from unsuspecting people. Carts and wagons trying to get through the crowded streets. Stray dogs and cats running around, half concealed in shadows, then quickly, stealing food from a vendor who then yells at them. Not truely angry. Rats scurying in the sewers, their red eyes glinting evilly and drool dripping slowly from their mouths.
That would be perfect- to be surrounded by people! It didnt matter if there were pickpockets, rabid rats or poor people, it still would be nice. To be surrounded by people!
She looked up at the shape in the distance and saw it was gone, she gasped, looking around her. Where had it gone? Oh! There it was...behind her? How had it gotten there? That was strange. She couldnt of walked past it, and not have noticed, even from the distance it looked big.

Page #1.2 Draft #4
I repeat, please comment on this. This is the second page of my first page, which probually does not make sense, but it is because I am labling the pages based on how far I got in the first draft. Which ends up with alot of first pages.
--> And also page 1.0 is really 1.1, same thing...(:
thankyou (: Alex

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