I am pissed so so pissed. O.m.g.
-carpet is disgusting, I want to destroy whoever invented it. Furking furk
-anxiety. Sucks.
-I weigh tooooo much. -.-
-im pissed
-im alone
-it hurts to breathe

Fml

It doesn't matter what I look like, it matters how I feel.

I just asked myself if I could have more pasta. What. The. Frick?
Delusional?

I don't get hungry anymore.... Like at all.

I don't think that's how it works, shouldn't I want to eat?

But I don't.... Its a good thing Ill never be on my own, because I'd probally forget to eat like, all the time....

Im pretty sure my mind is going to explode someday soon. I am just. AGHH.

Cant sleep
Cant eat (dont wanna)
Cant just be
So
Anxious and just so limited too...

I think Im sick....

Yeah... Im freezing, stomach does not want to keep whatevers in there IN there. 

ARGHFARGH.

Stupid sore throat, just had to get worse. and worse. and worse. 

Now Im a victim of this "disease," vulnerable to its ghastly horrors. hahaha, alittle exaggerated there.

but it sucks.

Losing weight again.

104.

... ♥

I also have a psychology test on monday o.O

AGHH! 

Anyone want to lend a hand in my studying?

ARGH sorry for being so boring....

I dislike thanksgiving. though i ate... not THAT badly. I ate a lot though:

Mashed potatoes

Sweet potatoes w/ marshmellows

corn

mac n cheese

chocolate covered strawberries

pumpkin pie

icecream

a desert bun thing.

Over all, I couldve ate worse. But still, I refuse to add up the calories on this. It is crazzy

http://thedisoriented.tumblr.com/

Arghhhh food.

ARGH.

I dont want to be fat.

Such a Great and Yet Stressful Day

So. Track season has started, which means, NO food problems/insecurities/etc. eating healthy is the priority.

Today, in my mind, was

epic

*Which I also appologize for using the word 'epic' but I was lacking in a better term. So deal with it:) 

I had ONE hour of sleep. Somehow.

THEN I had school and lost my bracelet and was stressed about that. (I found it later)

THEN I had track. Which was. TRACK! We had warmup. Then we ran army laps, but me, with my medical condition, ran regular laps. 10 regular laps (2 1/2 miles, 4000  meters) and then did several sets of lunges, squats, burpees, and curlups. (pain but awesome) And then I ran an extra mile:) A total of 3 1/2 miles right there. 

THEN I had karate, and did stuff there.

Im STILL not tired.

What is this madness?

(No its not sparta.)

Goals:

Track practice: 2 hours, IMPROVE.
After track: run AROUND track, atleast a mile.
Improve form on long jump

I am in love with running (and my boyfriend) !!!!!

Today I ran 4 miles, it was... ♥ and walked about 2 maybe. My goal for this year though is to get to states... 

So I NEED muscle. Which means a diet with a lot of protein. but not. FAT.

Hmmm...

track!

400 calories lost to pasta... or 360.
220 to crescent rolls... more like 110 + 25= 135 or 140
= 620/ 540
woe is me.
-Calisthenics 380.07
-Jogging 111.45
491.52 calories. 

(I am not functioning well today)

(And yet I am)

I believe I could be seeing things. My mind is playing tricks on me.

What is real...?

I Do Not Need You To Tell Me I Am Not A Cat :D

awesome

Blog Different

Yeah I changed it... The other one was bothering me... I might change this one too... soon? I dont know

So I woke up this morning and I think I shattered the mirror... Omg.This cannot be me.Somethings gonna happen. I cannot be this fat, it makes me feel like I'ma puke.

THIS:

should be me.

I just watched Inception, which that movie had such an interesting concept of dreams and reality... it really made me think about life. I also feel sick to my stomach which always happens after I see/read something particularily mind challenging. I love it.

Any controversial (sorry if the spellings wrong) or just mind numbingly amazing books or movies that anyone knows, I'd be very glad if you could comment on this telling me the name(s) that would be awesome! :)

So yes, please please please, let me know! :)

Sunday.

Vanilla Pudding. I ate all four servings of it. Oh my.... the pain, it made me extremely nauseous. :\ now its gone. Whoops, not the best thing to do....

I need to avoid the lure. The horrible lure of food...

I am sending this from my phone now, which I think is pretttty niffty:) haha...

So yes... I have been having issues. Eating. And sleeping. I've been doing both way too much. I've been sleeping abouttt 10 hours a day at least... I mean it HAS been broken up into smaller segments but still that's quite a lot... And when I am awake I cannot stop eating food.

Omnomnomnomnomnom
Stupid me.

I should probably just start drinking more, I feel like I'm dehydrated and that's making me eat more... And maybe sleep more idk about that one but yes, food is evil. :( I'm gaining a lot. A LOT. An insane amount. Stupid. Stupid. Me.

restart

Loser

Ive been terrible lately. At least I have track on Monday though:\

Ive been eating so fricken much and it makes me feel so sick, but I havent thrown up at all, because I dont deserve to.

FAT. =. ME.

Pain. Benefits?

I have a theory.

which may mean losing weight and eating less would be a GOOD thing...

Last week I was strict with my diet, and lost weight. I also found I could run without my lungs DYING.

:)

The last couple days Ive gone food crazy -.- and Ive noticed my lungs are starting to DIE AGAIN. -.-

So.

Maybe... maybe...

Maybe i can do this......differently

I SUCK.

 I showed weakness. I showed. IT. I AM WEAK.

I am sick now. SICK> great.

No. Weakness. No. Weakness. Total Control.

I must not show weakness. Weakness means death. Weakness means lies. Weakness means weight. Weakness is bad.

Lets go for the success.

No food today. None. NO. I wont. I will prove my strength. PROVE. IT. No water either, no tea, no vitamins, nothing in my stomach.

NOTHING.

♥♥

Fat

Depress

I am.

elephant.

hear me roar.

Yeah. fatness. Earlier I attacked some candy and shoved it down my throat.

I should not have done that.

The calories= too painful to count.

Tomorrow will be better.

 Pretty pretty

 Her thighs ♥

Ive Gone Crazy, Havent I?

This is me:
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. Fat,  fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat. 

This is how fat I feel:
[No offense to the girl...]

 

This Was Adapted From a Friend's Poem... Not that great but... ohwell

Tick, Tock

Goes the clock

Your clock

You were born with...

It starts

with zero

It ends...

with zero

And based on events

Your clock changes

Intervals

Just think...

think for me,

You're born with a time

A time to die.

You and your body are born to die.

Inside you,

Something like a clock

Ticks constantly

It knows when that time is

...Scary thought to some

A challenge to others.

But then again,

This could all be bullshit

I don't know.

Not sure anyone does

They cant find this clock

Its hidden too deep...

But it's a a thought

An idea

So think about it

Because

Its ticking down time,

Time till your death

Shrinking, Falling, is the Battle Won or Lost?

Another pound gone. That puts me at about 102 but my scale sucks so I dont know the EXACT measurement -.-

And Im losing a pound per day... but I still. feel. fat.

Im falling in,
Im falling in the dark hole.
Losing while wining.
Where will I end up? 
Gone, gone forever?
or will I fall into the light?
Who knows... who cares.

Food...

•  Tea
• Dark Chocolate Peanutbutter cup= 66 cals. didnt eat all of it= 10 cal
• 1/2 stick of Cheese=  40 cals; 56 % fat =22.4 cal from fat
• Vitamins= 20 cal
•  Tomato Soup= 100 cal, 20 from fat
• Gnocchi =240 cal, and carbs! agh
• Chocolate= 210
• TOTAL:  620 cal

Exercise...

  Jogging, about an hour (its gonna bother me that I dont know -.-) : 325 cal

Total...                     295 cal
 

How many calories does your body burns/ need in a day?

Adult female: 655 + (4.3 x weight in lbs.) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years)

Me:

655 + (438.6) ) + (300.8) - (75.2) = 1319.2 cal

Pretty♥

Beautiful Song ♥ and Good Things

First off, this song is beautiful::

 

 Sung by a Dutch girl, and is beautiful --> Link is here <--

------------------------------------------------

And this is what shes singing:

Secondly I want to make a list today. Of everything that is good. Good things:)

1. My boyfriend

-He is amazing. Perfect. Adorable. Awesome. He makes his mistakes (in his mind) but none of them are bad, they're just him worrying about me... ♥

2. Music. 

-I am in love with music also. Its kept me alive... its ♥

3. Damnit.List fail. No more computation.

♥♥ 
--

Pretty girl of the day:)

hehehehe

So Im really immature, I know. But accourding to the people counter its at 69 at the moment xD

Well... Im not usually like this... but.... ohwell...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

I am. Not. Stable. Right. Now.

And sorry I could not travel both

WHATSOEVER.

Be one traveler long I stood.

shit.

Pretty soon Ill probably end up freaking out. And doing something. stupid. and yes... I will. 

And looked down one as far as I could

F

M

L

To where it bent in the undergrowth

 

SHES SO PRETTY!! I love the background also.

Its just, PERFECT.

unlike. so. Im a fking mess. Shithole of despair.

LETS BRING ON THE QUOTES!!!!!!!

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. 

- Anne Frank 

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are 

permitted to remain children all our lives. 

- Albert Einstein 

The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty 

than logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise 

- George Santayana (1863-1952)

I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains. 

- Anne Frank 

People are like stained glass windows -- the true beauty can be seen only when 

there is light from within. The darker the night, the brighter the windows 

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross 

A thing of beauty is a joy forever: Its loveliness increases; 

it will never pass into nothingness. 

- John Keats 

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. 

- Franz Kafka 

I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. 

I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings 

My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you. 

Let us work together for unity and love. 

- Gandhi 

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. 

- Eleanor Roosevelt 

Pie

Pumpkin Pie.

i couldnt resist.

ahghhghghgh *facepalm*

I also had a bagel, and a cupcake today.

SO MUCH FAT

im going to

0

/(-----)\

|-|

end up like THAT! ^

DOWN.

So... I could be depressed again.
though I feel happy, I'm so entirely grateful for my boyfriend. He's perfect.

&&

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE. NESS.

I feel an extreme need to get 100% in all of my classes. Thats the only good grade, any lower and Im just stupid. 

Completely. STUPID.

Of course, maybe its the number, 100.  That was my goal weight. But now, now I want 90. Because if I aim for 100, Ill reach it, then Ill stop and then Ill gain weight. Which I cant.

 

Gravity Rides Everything- Modest Mouse

x-x

Crazy thing happened.

People like me. o.O
what the hell is wrong with people? I mean really... DONT THEY HAVE EYES?!?! Yeah Im fat...
But yes, my ex. had sex. with someone... and I didnt care, thats so... awesomely weird hahahaa, I just feel bad for the girl, because ew. Who would want that?? Yeah...
anyways...
...Theres this band: Spoon

they're pretty awesome stuff. Much like Modest Mouse, which is pretty awesome stuff ♥

Courage, to not Eat.

Death By Ones Own Hand.

Recently at the school I previously attended a young boy there took his own life. Now, in the news this has been happening often, and it is just sad and depressing that these... kids had lost all hope in the world, that they lost their spirit and decided to turn their lives off. But what these kids didn’t realize are the people they left behind are now grieving for their lost souls. These innocent, battered souls killed by their own hands.

 Now the remaining think, "I could have stopped this," everyone who has had any connection with the deceased suddenly see what they could not previously. They see they could have easily saved the poor souls from the most permanent extermination.

The worst part is, for many this is true. In the case of the young people that have taken their lives earlier in the month/year a majority of them were gay, and were ridiculed for this. Now, how could people be so cruel, yes, death is dramatic for being bullied. But, still, there is nothing wrong with gay persons, they are just the same as everyone else; even the Greeks were gay. There is nothing genetically, or biologically wrong, nothing emotionally wrong either. But yet, the people decided that being gay meant they deserved cruelty, and in the media's eyes no one helped the bullied kids from their bullies. And yet, in my school, we are much more accepting.

Who cares if someone's gay? That doesn’t change them as a PERSON. At my old school, the young boy, from what I can collect, had major depression and was broken up with by his girlfriend. He had written a goodbye message on his facebook, at most 10 days EARLIER. How had no one seen this? It was clearly a goodbye, but no one had the sense to pay attention, to wonder why those words were written, to help. So, thus young boy gave up. He's dead. Never will ever live, never will wake up to an alarm every morning and climb into the bus, then depart from the bus to school. He will never walk into those doors, feeling either a rush, or complete exhaustion. He will never walk through the halls, saying hi to those he knows, giving his (former) girlfriend a kiss and a hug. He will never sit in his classes and learn. He will never turn in his homework on time; in fact he won’t turn it in at all. He’s dead. He will never walk quickly to lunch, excited to socialize with all of his friends. He will never sit and devour his food.

No, instead his body will lie in its coffin, in its grave. He will be eaten by microorganisms and bugs. But it’s not HIM. It’s his dead body; the essence of HIM is gone. Gone, somewhere unknown. This boy gave up on the world. He decided that life could not improve, never. Or maybe his mind was in the present day, and he didn’t even give a second thought to the future, because he believed he had none, so there was no point in even BOTHERING. And now, look what happened. He’s gone. Never to return, that innocent boy is dead. Exterminated by his own hand. And someone could have easily shown kindness to him, and then maybe he would be alive now, just maybe. Maybe he could have stood strong among the depression and the pressures of live. Maybe instead of causing all of his friends and family grief, he would cause them joy and excitement. Maybe he could have succeeded, and met his love.

The perfect girl for one so innocent.  But now that girl has no match... and will have to unknowingly settle for second best. 

good luck to all who are affected.

Good and bad day. I feel sick though, it seems the more I eat, the more sick I feel. I am in better health without food. Such as right now, I feel so... horrible I think I might just fall asleep standing up even though Ive been sleeping enough...

food is poison.

Excitement to an otherwise uneventful day

I found out that Im back to my original, normal weight...:)) Yay. now, 5 pounds less would be perfect. Haha. TRUTH. I. am. 10 pounds. more. than. I should. be. -.-

 

 When The War Came by The Decemberists

Also, this amused me

From Stuffnoonetoldme which, I feel bad about putting it on here, so click the link:) and see all the other amusements....

Knowlege, true knowlege, where could it be? MUSIC!

Today I was sitting at school, listening to the librarian explain everything that Ive already heard before when I had a mind rush... I saw a book in the biography section::

 

GANDHI!!!! 

And I suddenly yearned to read the whole libraries book collection, every single one of them. Starting with the Gandhi book (and the Stephen King book I got last week).

But the sight of it... was so pulling...

I wanted that book, but I had to wait until after class to reach up and snatch that book out of its protective case and open the book up to my mind.

So far, its an excellent book, I would recommend it to... older students and adults. Very enlightening.

Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode

Bukowski by Modest Mouse (video by Lunasakuramoon... which, I gave it a thumbs up:) excellent song and the video was well done)

---

Random Writings. Anything else anyone... Anyone wants [to a limit...] requestions please?

Thursday, March 26^th 2009: Day 1

A girl about five years old ran down the street, whimpering like a terrified beaten puppy. Her light blonde hair flowed out behind her, while a big, fat tear ran down her bright, red cheek from her frightened blue eyes. The little girl, Rose, was running away from what she thought was a monster, who had come out of her closet to eat her. What Rose did not know, was that there was actually a secret passage-way in her closet to the cellar. And the monster was actually a man, a very angry man.

But she didn’t figure that out for a while, and now was more important. Rose’s tears were blocking her vision, leaving her a blurry, distorted world. She wanted to stop so badly, so she could rest her weary legs, clear her eyes of tears, and take a good, long, deep breath. The only thing stopping her was fright; what if the monster was right behind her, or what if it catches up while she was resting? No, she could not rest, at least, not until she was somewhere safe. Was anywhere safe?

About to turn the corner, a shining light glared at Rose’s face, and instinctively she covered her eyes and froze. Almost in slow motion, the light came at her until something hit her. Sinking to the ground in pain, Rose curled up into a ball. It must be the monster, she thought. Except, somehow the monster was now stronger, like a  She felt herself fading into the night and suddenly her pain was gone and she relaxed into the dark.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------
Candy Corn 105
Grapes 123
String Cheese 50
=278
Fitness= 329 


--------------------------------------------------------------
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

Fat.

Im Fat. 

Line, break. End of story. 

Need to lose. 10 pounds. 20 pounds.

Starting. NOW.

Halloween's Month Fourday

 ARGH, the death candy. So. Beautiful. I bought three bags of it at the store today -.- So stupid of me, but Ive been giving it to people... but still, I went to the store to buy gum. NOT. candy corn. I HAVE FAILLLLED. :(
Food:
2 Apple
Cheese
Salsa
Candy Corn.
=WAY TOO MUCH. Like, 600-700
Exercise
~500?

Today IS a failure. Im extremely pissed off and fat. 

:(

Tomorrow = nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Also, theres this awesome blog, Hyperboleandahalf that you should check out ♥ it contains what I never say outloud, truely imaginative. :)

Awh:\\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c65QoG22j1Q

Triday

Today was very uneventful, I found out that the last Cross Country meet of the season is tomorrow and I can't run in it. 

That saddens me. 

GREATLY.

I mean really, the beginning of the  season I was doing excellent, and almost to the best group. And now Im stuck NOT RUNNING. Because. I. Am. INJURED.

:((

This makes me sad... I want to run...
&same thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iuy1GSYoOr8&feature=related 

Woman Cross Country: www.judolphins.com

♥♥
running = ♥

Male Cross Country: crosscountryrunner.net

Food:

Rice: 160 cal

Cheese: 120 cal

Protein: 100 cal

Misc: 50 cal
Trail Mix: 200

=630

Exercise:

482 cal


Total= 152 cal

Twoday, nothing on sched

                 Food:

~3/4 cup: Corn: 80 cal
~1/2 cranberries: 96 cal
~Sugar: 105 cal
=281 cal

Reduction, the name of the game? Or the loser?

I have gone a bit crazy. But, I have decided to reduce. To become less. For less is more. So my diet will be... interesting. 

                Today:

Small Bowl: Tofu with curry ~105

1: Lemonade Capri Su: 100

Water water water (need to drink more)
3/4 cup: Corn: 80 cal
Cashew: 158
=435

                                    Exercise:

90 min, ~700
60 min,~482
=1,182

                                        Overall:

-747

What is there to do, when you can do nothing?

I think that society's rules have far exceeded to past the point of no return. This is a mortifyingly stupid society containing even stupider people. The masses are what causes the utmost stupidity within society. They clump every unique person into a giant pool of majority. Soon someone's reaction is based entirely upon every other person's reaction until everyone is exactly the same. What is wrong with the world? If everyone is basing what they do upon other people, then hypothetically, communism should work. And yet, it doesnt. Communism only truely exists and is functional in ideas and wishes. Not life. And yet, communism seems to be the basic function of living. One of the problems that throws humanity off the trail of communism and causes it to fail is their leaders who end up becoming greedy fuck ups and ruin everyone elses lives and are complete control freaks. But how can it be actual communism if there's a small group of people that live outside their OWN rules. Amazing how unstable society is.